I would like to begin this week by congratulating all of our athletes that competed this past weekend. Undisputed Fitness was represented in the Southwest Grappling Championships Jiu Jitsu Tournament, Rumble in the Rio Cops vs. Firefighters Boxing Card, Jackson’s MMA Series VI and Boxtoberfest CrossFit competition. All of these events marked the first time that several of our athletes ever competed. The entire staff is very proud of everyone. Great job folks!

With competition fresh in every athlete’s mind that competed this past weekend I know that there are lots of thoughts rushing through everyone’s minds. After competitions I often see an abundance of people beating themselves up over not winning some sort of award or not placing high enough. While competitors all train to try to be the best and receiving awards can be extremely gratifying, we should all keep in mind that winning is not everything.

I’ve been wrestling competitively since I was three years old. Over the years I have had my share of great success and my share of what can be viewed by many as great failure. I, myself, have even have viewed many of my performances as failures but I have learned, with the passage of time, that the only way I could have ever failed would be if I would had given up. And believe me, there have been times I’ve wanted nothing more than to just give up.

I still have my moments I just want to give up. I don’t know how to give up though.

When I was eight years old my parents took me to the United States Junior Open Championships wrestling tournament in Oklahoma City. The event is held in a huge livestock arena and hosts upwards of probably two thousand athletes. Opening ceremonies allow all the kids to come out with other competitors from their home state and wave their state flag. The event staff does their best to make the kids feel like they are competing in the Olympics. This was one of the most prestigious wrestling tournaments for junior wrestlers at the time and was always one of the focal points of my year because we would go every year. This particular time though had a profound impact on me for the rest of my life.

This particular year things were kind of tight financially for my family and my parents were not even initially sure we would be able to go to the tournament. In the end, my parents made it work and decided that we would drive out to Oklahoma City after my dad got out of work on Thursday night so we could be on time for weigh-ins Friday morning. So when my dad got home we packed up and were off on our eight hour drive to Oklahoma City.

We pulled into Oklahoma City right at 6 o’clock in the morning right on time for weigh-ins. I made weight and we went to eat. The tournament started at 9 o’clock and I was the first match on my mat. I went out, shook hands with my opponent, got taken down, got a half nelson put on me, got rolled to my back and got pinned. When I got up I looked straight at my dad and he was just shaking his head in disappointment. As I walked off the mat my dad told me, “Okay you are going to have to try harder this next match. Just going out there and laying down will not cut it. If you don’t, we are going to have to go home.”

Forty minutes later, with my dad’s words fresh in my mind, I was warming up getting ready to wrestle again. I’m going to try harder, I don’t want to go home and most of all I don’t want to let my dad down. It was never an issue in my mind at this point of letting my mom down because win or lose she was always be supportive of me and always told me I did good. I was ready to go out there and destroy my opponent but scared as hell to let down my dad and scared as hell of having to go home.

They called my name when I was up. I had to wrestle a kid from Tuttle, Oklahoma who wasn’t particularly bigger or even meaner looking than me so it gave me some confidence. I went out and shook his hand, got taken down, got a half nelson put on me, got rolled to my back, and got pinned. I was already terrified to turn and look at my dad before I got up. I looked at him and he was shaking his head even more frantically and looked really mad. As I walked up to him he just said, “Go get your stuff. We are going home. You didn’t even try!” Oh did I cry. I didn’t want to go home and seeing the disappointment in my dad’s eyes hurt me. I just wanted him to be proud of me.

He walked up to the stands with me all the while telling me how I didn’t try and that we were never going to do this again. I was done wrestling. We got to where my mom was sitting and I thought for sure I would receive some sort of reprieve from my mom. Guess what she said…”You didn’t try. You just lied there like a beached whale. Get your stuff, we are going home.” Wow! Not what I expected from my mom. Now I really felt like I was worthless. I let down the two people in the world I wanted only to make proud. Obviously since I let my parents down, I let everyone else around me down and was just a disappointment to the entire world. That broke my heart. No medal, disappointed everyone, and now I had to go home. That was it! In my mind I decided I would never ever let anyone down again. I would try as absolutely hard as I could in everything I do and never give up no matter what the circumstance. I would never allow myself to feel like this again. I would be the best. Did I become the best over night? Nope. In fact I lost several times after that. But I never gave up.

My story might be a bit harsh, but it illustrates my point well. If I had banked everything on winning and only winning, I would not be the man I am today. I very easily could have decided that facing things like the possibility of letting people down was too great and decided to just quit. That experience was traumatic in many ways for me but it also drove me to new heights I would have otherwise not known possible for myself.

Do I have lots of awards? Yes. Does it feel good to receive awards? Yes. They just don’t define us. In the end it is not the awards that we receive that should be valued but the experiences that those awards represent. The experiences are what we learn from and what makes up our lives, not the awards. I have more awards than I could display in any one room of any place I’ve ever lived and the majority of them are sitting in boxes in the shed at my parents’ house collecting dust.

Winning isn’t everything. The losses may hurt, but it is each of those sad painful losses that get us to each happy and proud winning moment as we learn and improve. Do not be discouraged by losing. Embrace it and learn from it. Use it as a tool for building rather than a tool of destruction. Be proud that you have the guts to step out from the stands and be on the court. Most people spend their lives living in the stands. The stands are a safe place to view and criticize but always remember that no game has ever been won from the stands.

Henry Martinez